April 2009
4 posts
Not Convincing
Kat (in a low voice): Hi, this is Gary Liu speaking.
Bank Rep: Uh ... please hold on a second.
Elevator Music: la ti da ...
Bank Rep: Katrina, please put Gary on the phone.
Kat: How'd you know my name?!
Ignorant Texas Republican →
I am actually surprised.
I really shouldn’t be, since stupidity and racism continue to be embedded across our country, but I’m still surprised. Look at these quotes:
“Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily...
Overheard 5: Elevator
Old Man: Did you know that Aragorn is 400 years old? Why the heck would that pretty elf lady go for him?
Old Woman: Why not? He's still very handsome.
Old Man: But he's 400 years old! I bet his man-parts are all wrinkled. That's not very attractive.
Old Woman: Don't I know it ...
Old Man: Hey!
March 2009
18 posts
“We met a group of Amish guys in Glacier National Park once. It’s far away...”
– Steve Leonard
The Twittish Are Coming! →
“The British government is proposing that Twitter is to be taught in primary (elementary) schools as part of a wider push to make online communication and social media a permanent part of the UK’s education system. And that’s not all. Kids will be taught blogging, podcasting and how to use Wikipedia alongside Maths, English and Science.”
Fantastic. Now the Brits are going to sound...
Glutton with Bad Grammar
Gary: We don't have dessert?
Kat: We did. In that box.
Gary: It's empty.
Kat: There was Thin Mints in there.
WatchBathtub IV by Keith.
I’m a big fan of tilt shift lenses for still and motion photography. With some post-capture processing, you can make any scene look like a miniature model. Coupled with time-lapse videography, the result is a pretty cool video that looks like stop-motion animation, on a grandiose scale.
The Government Strikes Back →
Congress is brilliant! They are retroactively taxing all bonuses paid out by companies owing more than $5 billion to the government by an incredible 90%! That’s some serious balls-to-the-wall legislation.
AIG’s executives now in effect get $16.5 million in bonuses, compared to an initial $110 million (after bonus tax), while not making a dent in their government debt.
There are going...
WatchJim Cramer, meek and apologetic, on The Daily Show. Make sure to watch Part 2 and Part 3 of the interview. You’ll be impressed.
I wonder when Cramer and the rest of the CNBC crew decided that Jon Stewart was right to call them out. But, my goodness, he seems completely helpless and emasculated in these segments. I wonder if an NBC PR Exec called down to his madhouse and said:
“Jim,...
Figment of Your Imagination
Joseph: You're coming tonight. Period.
Stephen: Joe. It's opening night. I'm going to her play. We've been over this.
Joseph: Gary and Pat are coming!
Stephen: you know damn well that Gary isn't even in the country. He's masked his IP address and is lying to you.
Joseph: Dude. I talked to him in the game room.
Stephen: hologram. like CNN.
Joseph: Gary is not a hologram!
Your Money and God →
Interesting.
Mainstream media paying attention to biblical stewardship … it’s surprising how the economic downturn has made people bold enough to suggest what would otherwise be mocked as inconsequential drivel. I haven’t bothered to read the comments below the article, but I’m guessing that it’s a mix of moral supporters of these Christian principles, and...
Google's BLOC →
This is an article from a few days ago about Marissa Mayer, our VP of Products, who pretty much oversees every major Google release. For those who frequent blogs like Valleywag or Techcrunch, this NYTimes profile won’t provide much new insight, but if you don’t really know who Marissa Mayer is, this should be an interesting read.
She’s the Big Lady On Campus.
WatchMicrosoft Labs and their envisioning of the year ‘2019’. Click here for the full 5 minute video.
As Tina Fey so brilliantly said it, “I want to go to there …”
Tweet
It’s the sound that distraction makes as it cruises by in a devil-red Maserati, mocking you for not having the self-discipline to stay away.
www.twitter.com/garyliu
WatchGoogle A2 just got a ping pong table, so I should probably start practicing my dance moves.
Gary 1, Dignity 0.
February 2009
6 posts
Took A Steroid
Johnny Damon: There's worse things that he could've done ...
ESPN Reporter: Johnny, what would have been worse?
Johnny Damon: Um ... murdering someone ... um, you know, um ... there's plenty of things.
Overheard 4: Superbowl
Steve: His pants are really tight. You can see everything.
Joey: Dude, he has HUGE ... what do you call those? ... thighs.
January 2009
10 posts
Overheard 3: Airport
Little Girl: I want a popsicle!
Mother: No. You need something to eat.
Little Girl: That is something to eat! Popsicles are nutriGUnous. Daddy said that popsicles are nutriGUnous, like beer.
Mother: Robert! Get over here!
Inauguration
Gary: Cheney is in a wheelchair. What's up with that?
Kat: He's rolling out.
WatchAn incredibly dramatic look at the New Yankee Stadium (and Teixiera hitting lots of home runs) from MLB 09 The Show on PS3.
Airport Security
Gary: Where's my passport?
Metal Detector Lady: You already gave it to me.
Gary: I don't see it in your hand.
Metal Detector Lady: I gave it to your daughter when she walked through.
Gary: Seriously?
Metal Detector Lady: Yeah. Why?
Gary: I'm 25. And she's my wife.
Watch“I’ll buy almost anything if it’s shiny and made by Apple.”
“I never really realized how much I hated keyboards until I saw this thing. I like having an email that automatically says “Sent from a Macbook Wheel”, that way people know you have one.”
And the best, albeit completely extraneous, line of the video:
“Moving on, police warn that the...
Out of Context
Josh: Well, print advertising is still preferred by a lot of companies, especially big ones that require branding campaigns. You have to consider that brand recognition is the initiative there.
Gary: I understand. But branding is more than possible online now, and in fact, display advertising has such a low cpm that if you can target well enough, ignoring that inventory is slightly stupid.
Kat: My question is, why is it so hard to find a good pet breeder?
“There was a guy in my dorm named Mark. He was half black, half white, but he...”
– wife
December 2008
18 posts
The Jets continue to suck after giving us all so much hope by starting the season 8-3. At least they did the right thing (after the Ravens won) by bowing to the Dolphins so that the always despicable Patriots were blocked out of the post season. What a depressing consolation prize.
Merry Christmas!
Gao Xiqing in The Atlantic →
I have a new hero.
Gao Xiqing, the president of the China Investment Corporation and the man responsible for the most important $200 billion of China’s US asset holdings, is now being featured in an exclusive Atlantic interview about the financial meltdown and the US market.
And, my goodness, the man is awesome.
This article is definitely worth your time, and I’ll include a few...
Richard Fisher Slays the Economy →
Fun speech by the President and CEO of the Federal Reserve Bank in Dallas. Pulled from krislo.
Sidenote: I went to school with Richard Fisher’s son, Miles Fisher, who is a screen actor. We were in a senior year acting class together, where I constantly mocked him for his resemblance to Tom Cruise and for being the black sheep in a respected finance family.
Turns out that I wasn’t the...
Pre-Vacation Recap
Apologies for not posting in the past week. I will personally acknowledge my untimely indiscretions to the 3 people who actually read this blog.
Work was fun. Pulled 32 straight hours between Wednesday and Thursday (in at 9am Wed, out at 3:30am Thurs, wfh 3:45am Thurs to 7:45am, in again at 8am Thurs, out at 5pm Thurs). I could have sworn that I wasn’t in banking or med school.
Minikitchen...
“I get really disoriented by Rainbow Road. I should never take LSD.”
– Jolie Leonard
Chipmunks: What are they hiding?
“What is going on inside those cheeks, Chipmunk? I know you’ve got something in there, because I KNOW you aren’t doing a Marlon Brando impression. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO MARLON BRANDO IS BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST A F****** CHIPMUNK. And close your mouth while you are eating, no one wants to see your chewed up whatever. Jesus Christ, Chipmunk. Manners.”
From the...
NYC Portraits Preview
When Kat and I were back in Jersey/New York over Thanksgiving, we made it a point to book some time with our favorite photographer, Wayne Yuan. We wanted to spend an afternoon in the city and take some couple portraits before Wayne got too famous to work with common folk like us. And even though he had other more pressing engagements (*cough*), he obliged and produced some amazing shots.
And as...